This is not poetry
A few days ago, whilst Internet dating, I got a message from an extremely attractive woman who also appeared quite pleasant
from her profile so on this occasion I decided to reply but with what? Well under pets it said she had a dog so I decided
I would try and guess what dog she had from her photo. I did toy with bulldog for a while but decided it was probably
best to leave that facet of my sense of humour for a later occasion. So I messaged her back that I was guessing that
she had a Labrador and sat back imagining how impressed she might be if I had guessed correctly. Back came the reply
that she didn't have a dog. Having a dog seemed a strange thing to lie about and she offered no explanation but she
did favour me with a couple of kisses.
So I thought I would try again: "Did she live in the centre of Nottingham or just nearby?" She lived in Leicester was the
reply which again seems a very odd thing to lie about. Despite Crossword Club Prashant teasing that she would turn out
to be a man I decided to give it one last try but there was nothing left to go on but the boring and obvious question.
I already knew what she did for a living because it said "Manager" on her profile but I asked anyway.
Predictably the reply came back that she was a nanny.
I have no idea what her motivation was for fictionalising her profile. It didn't appear to give her any advantage on the
dating scene. It's not like she was claiming to be: "always at the gym" or had pole dancing as a hobby. Not
that either would have impressed me, especially not the pole dancing.
Internet dating is depressing and soul destroying. It merely serves as a reminder that the fairytale
ending is a fiction and we are all doomed to spend our lives with other human beings.